Ways to cope with emotional breakdown after pregnancy loss

A month has already passed after my laparoscopy and my incisions are getting better. There are just times that the incision in my navel area hurts when I move too hard or fast. Nevertheless, I am glad and happy that I am getting well.

A week or two after my surgery last January 17, I experienced an EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN. My husband went back to work after taking care of me for a week so I was left alone in my bedroom. Though I'm living with my parents, having no husband with me every day felt like I have more "me" time. And when I have more me time, I also have more time to be depressed, thinking about what happened—my current situation of having no fallopian tubes anymore, the financial burden of the IVF procedure, the work I left since December, and my thoughts of resigning from work or not for the IVF procedure. These were like butterflies in my mind, flying here and there. I've been crying days and nights, lying on the bed for the whole day. I've been so unproductive and all I did was to sleep and eat.

I realized it was a good idea to do nothing. It was okay not to be okay. It was fine not to think of happy thoughts. I gave myself a break. And it worked. Now it has been a month and I'm coping. One must need to recover also—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

1. Care for yourself.

I do a self-care challenge where each day, I did something to pamper myself. It can be a mani-pedi treat, facial, spa, whole body massage, haircut, and anything I feel like doing to nurture my health and well-being. It is never bad to indulge in things that would make yourself better. It helps to make you feel confident and healthy!

2. Try new hobbies.

When I started working, I lost my interest in composing songs, painting, and other old hobbies I had when I was young then. As much as I want to revive these hobbies, I get bored easily. So to make myself busy, I tried making an anonymous account on Instagram and joined a community of women who are also having a hard time conceiving. It was a pure bliss meeting these people online and hearing their stories. I tried video blogging or vlogging on Youtube to boost my confidence and skill in speaking. I also continued writing here on my web blog as another avenue to share my experiences. It is really great to have a detour in the real world and share my feelings and anything under the sun stories on various media.

3. Exercise and meditate.

I was on bed rest for how many weeks since I got pregnant so I became too lazy to move and got body aches frequently. I can't do heavy workout yet so I started on walking and do some muscle stretching. Other times, I meditate where I just sit on the floor, face a wonderful view from our bedroom, and listen to nature's music. I also created various song playlists on Spotify and listen to my favorite songs while lying on the bed. These are ways of making myself calm amidst the chaos of survival.

4. Hang-out with your partner and friends.

After isolating myself from people for not wanting to see them, I went out of the cave and started to think that these people cared for me. I hanged out with my closest friends and talked about our current lives over food and lattes. Husband and I also dated and enjoyed each other's company. We've shared a lot which made our bond stronger. No man is an island. We can isolate ourselves for some time and it's okay but we also need to mingle with people. Dealing with problems becomes easier when you have someone to support you.

5. Savor each day while you're alive.

All of us don't know when will be our last time here on earth. Our time is limited but enjoying our lives is unlimited. Enjoy every moment you're alone, the time when you're sobbing, the food you're eating, the fresh air you're breathing, the nice views you're seeing, the people you're with, and anything you're doing under the sun! 

These weren't easy. I never did these overnight. It was a process. Albeit it was slow, I believe I was on the right track. And if ever I fail, better to get going from the start than to stop.